My Story - Reflecting on the Past but sure as heck not staying there....

Well...great way to start a blog...with the word 'well'...however I feel like it's  a good introduction...

I've thought about starting a blog in the past but have been a little gun shy.  However, a friend of mine actually suggested it this week and said she's follow me so here we go...

I guess the purpose of this blog will be for a 2 main reasons

1. I've learned a lot over the years on what it takes to get healthy and it's still a work in progress so I think I have some valuable tips and hope that I can continue to motivate those around me.  I know I've needed motivation along the way - so hopefully I can help some others.

2. I think blogging will also help me stay on track when it comes to fitness and nutrition.  My goal for 2013 is to get under 200 pounds sooooo...that means I have 11 1/2 months to reach my goal of at least 55 lbs of weight loss

So let's start with where I've come from before we get to where I gotta go....this is MY STORY....

I've struggled with my weight pretty much all my life - my lucky mother gave birth to me at 9 lbs, 14 oz.  Mind you, even at birth, I was almost 2 feet long (23.5 inches to be exact).  I was always the big boned tall girl.  I remember as a kid going to my doctor and they would talk about putting me on a child diet or sending me to fat camp but it's not something we could ever afford or do.  At the age of 12 I remember being a size 12 (crazy, I know).

I seemed to just get heavier as time went on - gained weight in high school - lost a bit in grade 12 when I started playing rugby and running but then college happened an I gained a lot of weight- I worked almost full time while going to school, had a very active social life and just didn't eat healthy or workout really.

Then I remember just after my 21st birthday we went on a family cruise over the Christmas Holidays with another family.  I remember so clearly, like it was yesterday actually, being at the bar/club on the cruise and all of the girls I was with were off with other guys, so, that night, I left ever so quietly around 9:30 and went to bed and cried myself to sleep. The next morning I solemnly met my parents and the dad of the other family for breakfast and they all knew something was wrong and I totally broke down.  It was then that that other dad offered to help me - he committed to being my coach.

So when I returned I got on track right away and this was the plan - every morning I would email him my plan for the day - what my weight for the day was, what I was going to eat at each meal and what I was going to workout for the day.  And then at the end of the day I emailed him and told him how I did - if I went off course I got reamed out - so I did really good sticking to a healthy diet (just pretty balanced really) and I worked out lots!  So in just over 6 months I lost close to 80 lbs.  The lowest weight I got to was 198.  It was such an exciting day.  However, one thing I realized - later on - that was not good was that the way I lost the weight so fast was by doing 3 hours of cardio 6 days a week and that is not something many people can maintain, nor is it healthy (different if your training for a marathon or something different of course)

Well, when I got there, some major changes happened in my family.  My parents who had been married 25 years or so got divorced.  It was a really rough time.  I grew up in the church and for me, this seemed like the worst thing in the world.  As someone told me, it was like the house I always knew had been torn down and was in shambles, and I, was standing in the middle with bricks, drywall and chaos all around me and had no idea where to start to rebuild.   My entire world changed at that moment!  I lived in the home with my parents for 6 months until mom and I moved out - that was tough!  When mom and I moved to Stouffville my life changed even more.  I continued my schooling (in Marketing) but I moved to do my studies part time and I got a full time job during the day and then I kept my evenings/weekend part time job.  That means I worked close to 70-80 hours a week and went to school part time.  Which means - I started gaining weight back because I stopped working out as hard and eating as healthy.

Then in 2008 I started to train to climb a mountain in Indonesia when I went on a missions trip with my church....half way down the mountain (in the middle of our trip) I broke my ankle.  We still had 10km to go or so to get off the bloody mountain - thank God for some good friends who helped me get down - one walked in front of me clearing a path and the other behind me in case I fell and...my last km I went down on a shaddy motorcycle with a guy who didn't speak a lick of English just to get off the stupid thing and that was the scariest moment of my entire life I think!

Well that left me in pain with my ankle for about 2 years.  Around that time too I met a boy...this boy liked my curves and he also really liked to eat and was not very active sooo...over the years of our relationship and into our marriage I put on 80 pounds.  A lot happened in those years - I moved out on my own, my sister got married, my sister got pregnant, my sister's husband passed away (when she was 3 months pregnant) and moved back to Ontario for the first time in 5 years, I got married, one of the strongest men I knew passed away - my Papa.....my favourite little man was born and I became an auntie all in one day..... I was in a car accident....

And in 2011 I decided that enough was enough and in May weighing in at 306, I decided to make a change...again!  I went into a Jenny Craig and signed up.  I did that for about 2 or 3 months just to train myself on portions and what to eat.  Then I started to run - very slowly obviously - but I used an app called Couch to 5k - was super helpful and I totally recommend it if you want to start running.  I ran my first 5k with my mom and sister - the Army Run in Ottawa - my time was something ridiculously slow like 43 minutes, but, I DID IT! And I loved it!  I worked hard trying to change my habits - even did a 5k on new years eve going into 2012.  I really was just focusing on eating balanced and being active (running, zumba, biking, walking, etc.).

Then in January 2012 another big life change - that boy and I - we separated.  My heart was shattered and I realized how unhappy of a person I was.  Then in March that year I was laid off because the company I worked for went bankrupt, I was betrayed by a very close friend because she was hiding some of her own deceit and trying to cover it up and I guess you could say I was at rock bottom - my marriage was over, I had no job but I soon discovered I had a lot more than I ever realized.  I had a God who loved me and was there even when I didn't pay any attention to him.

I started on a journey discovering who this God was that I have known all my life and I started trusting him in all areas of my life.  I started reading some amazing books and the bible and praying so much more and started to see God answer some prayers.  I started searching for meaning in every area of my life.  I started to heal (I'm still healing but I'm making progress that I never imagined possible).  I started to push harder in my exercise and nutrition and from July - December 2012 I lost 45 inches (I started weightlifting, eating more balanced, increased my calories actually and my protein)

My heart bore a lot of pain for a lot of years, I never loved myself, I never valued or respected myself.  I always had the pressure that I had to be skinny on myself and that I could never be happy where I was until one day (actually only like a month ago this realization came) I realized that I love me and I accept me, curves and all which is why this blog has been given this name.

I guess thats a long enough story....the next blog I'll share what I have found to work really well in terms of nutrition and exercise and what I will be doing to keep going in this journey to lets say 'define my curves some more'.

I will leave you with this final thought....

You can do more than you can imagine but you can't get there if you don't take the first step.  Sometimes the first step is to plan where you are going to go and how you are going to get there.  So maybe, my story will inspire you somewhat to start down that path.

Cheers to a great year ahead!

Sarah :)


Here's some pics too from over the years....

I was probably like 4 or 5 here...

This was me around age 20

These are some pics from when I got down to 198 

The picture on the left was at about 306, my heaviest weight           

 This is a couple weeks ago.... (December 2012)